Confidential
27 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in arwyn dae, babes in blogland, introspective, lokie rai
Arwyn had a school assignment for a project where she had to build a miniature float that represented our state. She chose Abraham Lincoln as her subject and we crafted up a storm all week. We spent several hours working on it, cutting and gluing. I even busted out the hot glue gun (no injuries!). She took the float to school on Friday and after I got to work that morning, Bubby sent me a chat saying that she hadn’t wanted anyone to see her float at school drop-off. I couldn’t understand this. She’d seemed happy with her work. I had repeatedly asked her if there was anything else she wanted to do or change before we declared the float finished.
This whole little episode spawned a discussion between Bubby and I about her self-confidence. We feel like she has attitude (especially with us, or other people she feels very comfortable with) but her confidence is often lacking. I turned to my trusty buddies on twitter and asked, how do you promote self-confidence in kids?
My awesome friends inside the computer responded, mostly in the same way. Praise, love, set them up for success. This set off a flurry of self-doubt in my parenting skills. I love them more than pancakes, but do I praise them enough? I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been the over-effusive type, at least not when it comes to that. I’ll admit, I cringe a little when I hear other people “over-praising” their kids (in my opinion, obviously). Do kids really need to hear “good job jumping” or whatever other ridiculous thing in order to feel good about themselves? I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not good at faking it. But maybe I’ve got it all wrong. I certainly want my girls to grow up with healthy self-esteem and I do feel that Bubby and I are paving the way for their future self-worth, whether we want to admit it or not.
And so I’ve found myself trying to nag less often, trying not to use “that tone”, which I hate to hear coming from my mouth seemingly on its own anyway, looking for the positives more often, thanking her for her help more sincerely, trying my damnedest to control my temper and my tongue. And I will continue to do these things. I will read more books and ask more friends and search for guidance. That’s all I know to do as we reluctantly stick our toes into these murky waters.
I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me
07 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in lokie rai
On the days that I work, my morning tends to go much more smoothly if I can get Lokie dressed as soon as she gets up. She would prefer to stay in her pj’s; I prefer not to chase her around the house trying to stick her flailing limbs into clean clothes. So most mornings it is either a knock-down-drag-out fight to the death or me sweet-talking/distracting/bribing her until I can’t stand it anymore. Why is it so difficult to get a 2 3/4 yr old dressed?!! I would love it if someone would lay out coordinating clothes for me and then put them on me every morning… (Bubby?)
Yesterday morning was going very well. She got dressed (clothes that I had picked out, so they actually matched! even bigger score) without too much fuss and then stood still very nicely while I brushed out her hair and put it into several pigtails. I’m not really sure why I take the time to do this, because by the time I pick her up from the sitter’s, she looks like she’s spent the day with hobos. ANYWAY, after she was all done, I kissed her on the head and said, “Thank you for cooperating. That was so nice.”
On the way out of her room, she asked me to carry a giant Care Bear and a toy lunchbox for her, as her arms were full with a second giant Care Bear. I picked up the items, but I wasn’t holding them exactly how she wanted me to. “No, Mama, like this!” Grabbing the lunchbox by the handle (as instructed), I scooped everything up and continued down the hall. And Lokie said, “Thank you for co-wap-pee-ating, Mama!” And what else could I say but “You’re welcome.”
I’m Baaaack!
02 Apr 2011 2 Comments
in misc
I miss ye olde blog. I miss dumping my thoughts here on a regular basis. I miss having a journal of what we are doing, even if it is the overly-edited, rainbows and unicorns version. I really miss the free time I used to have, and would look for ways to fill up. Sigh. Such is life.
So, what’s new? Last week my mom paid us a short visit and brought with her a gigantic stinky 30 year old bag full of tiny stinky 30 year old dresses and hats and shoes. My stinky dresses and hats and shoes. When I was a wee little Leta, I hated dresses. Haaaaaated. Words cannot adequately express the contempt and revulsion that I held solely for dresses, lace (shudder) and bows. How was I supposed to run around and climb trees and kick boys with a stupid dress on?!?!! I think some of them are cute now, but I still wouldn’t want to wear many of them.
the worst one of the bunch
My oldest shares my disdain for dresses and I rarely force her to wear one, because I remember the UNFAIRNESS! and ITCHINESS! and lots of other horrible things that I associated with wearing them. Even though her dresses (that she never wears) are all adorable and itch-free. My youngest, however, is currently way way into all things princessy and frilly and dove headfirst into the laundry basket of ancient fabrics, begging to try on one after another. This surprised me. “Huh. I guess I should put her in a dress every now and then.” They ARE different children, not reincarnations of the same child.
All that being said, I do love vintage. Books and glasses and yes, even some clothes. And I might have plans for a picture of the girls in matching smocked vintage dresses. I smell a Mother’s Day gift for grandma in the making.
